Why I quit alcohol

If you wanna hear more about why I stopped getting drunk and basically drinking alcohol keep reading. 

I'm gonna split my writing and reflections up into sections/themes. The themes are health, productivity, negative effects, upbringing, faith and lifestyle (social and economic). 

Health

I mean it doesn't take a genius to realise that alcohol is bad for your health. Not only can you feel the crappiness when you drink it (will elaborate in next section) but it physically does you no good. It is a widely written about, researched and understood topic that there are significant long-term health risks from alcohol. If you drink for a long time and excessively, alcohol can lead to the development of chronic (long-lasting) diseases and other serious problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, digestive problems, cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, etc. These are just the long-term health risks. I haven't even mentioned the short-term psychological, social and health risks that it has yet. These include smelliness, short-breath, addiction, financial loss, potentially unmeaningful relationships/friendships, making mistakes, embarrassment, memory loss and so much more. The way I look at my intakes is whether it benefits me or I like it! So, with food and drinks I am always either eating because I like the taste or want the goodness it provides for me. I quickly realised that I no longer enjoyed alcohol and it definitely didn't benefit me. I just want to say that I have no problem with anyone drinking booze for any reason - lot's of people genuinely enjoy it and I respect that! This is just about me. 

For me, I rationally asked myself if this, arguably poison (due to the damage it causes to you) was benefitting my health, well-being and happiness in any way, shape or form? The answer was a straight up no. It was doing the exact opposite. I was living in Shanghai, and it was about 4-5 months in that I started and discovered MMA (mixed martial arts). Now, before I continue, I'll just admit that my first 5 months or so (and on going but less and less) I drank loads, partied, enjoyed Chinese horrid but effective booze (baijiu - if you know you know!) and I had both good and bad times. That has been my whole life though - booze has given me good and bad. It is sort of like an unreliable partner. Makes you happy sometimes, but lets you down at other times. But, those let-downs can be quite significant. If your partner hit or cheated on you - would you stay with him or her? Well, that is the sort of thought-process I had when deciding whether to maintain my relationship with booze. Ironically, just like it takes a long time for some people (not all of course) to get out of a negative relationship... it has been almost two years since I fully stopped getting drunk and drinking alcohol. This has been a journey my whole life literally. You will hear more about my deeper issues with alcohol in a few paragraphs time. 

Back to health - apart from the cliche a glass of red wine a day is good for you stuff, I had never really heard of alcohol benefitting you health wise. To be honest, I don't have any problem with drinking occasionally e.g. a glass of wine etc. But, the reason I have not even done that is because I didn't want to rely on a glass of red to relax and be happy. I used to love a glass of red and admittedly do miss it now. BUT, you feel your body HEAL when it doesn't rely on something toxic to be happy. Just like not relying on a toxic relationship, friendship or job. For me, letting go of alcohol has massively impacted my life in a positive way. My mental health and physical health has elevated to another level. I'm happy, can socialise, have fun, better skin and save money without it - what is not to love post ditching the booze?! I suppose in another future post, I could discuss the consequences of my quitting alcohol because a lot did change. My friendship circle reduced and relationships changed. My mind and outlook on life changed a lot too. It links to the theme of surrender that I will talk about in a separate blog post. 

Productivity

So, I was never that person who easily recovered from a hangover. In fact, I was the complete opposite. I would feel soooo crappy and sick for at least a day and not be able to function or do anything. It would be like a day monging out in bed. I mean, for some people that isn't so bad. But, for me, during my drinking times I was either at school, university, work or abroad. So much responsibility and not even just that. There was so much to do, embrace and get involved in. Looking back, I feel like alcohol hindered my chances in lots of ways. I guess I just wasn't that person who could get up and fight a hangover. So, the negative consequence was that I missed out on lots of stuff. Now, I really don't wanna take away from some of the positive memories of boozey times. I would have so much fun, laughter and joy! But, linking to another section coming up - how genuine and real was all of this? 

In Shanghai, I was really into mixed martial arts. I had an awesome coach (Ramsey Dewey - look him up!) and he genuinely inspired me. I was fairly committed, travelling over an hour from the outskirts of Shanghai to the centre for training three times a week. It was much more convenient when I moved closer to downtown Shanghai. Anyway, for these type of sports you need to be fit. You want to be fit! Naturally, you become focussed and productive. I remember at that time, feeling a transition in my relationship with alcohol. Alcohol was becoming less and less important. MMA was making me happy! Watching my progress and fitness develop. How can this compare with booze? Where can you measure progress with booze, apart from tolerance increasing over the years? Looking back and laughing oh when I was sixteen I was drunk after a glass of wine but now I can get through a bottle! Is this an achievement? Or is this negatively impacting our health and concept of happiness? For me, the achievement and feeling of progress that I had from MMA, by abandoning large amounts of booze, felt much better. I felt happy and ontop of the world. I miss that fitness buzz so much! I eventually stopped MMA due to some injuries to my ankle which took a while to fully heal. 

Negative effects

I want to talk about the negative effects now. Now, the unique thing about alcohol is it literally effects everyone differently, at different times, with different amounts and depending on what type of booze you have. So, there could be a time where I fully had a positive and fun evening or experience with alcohol. Meeting awesome people, talking about deep, meaningful topics, or having a boogy! But, I must say, largely overall my experiences were negative. I'm probably not just talking for myself when I say that I said silly things, did regretful things, witnessed awful things, lost relationships, argued, got sad, physically sick, embarrassed myself or others, etc. Those negative experiences added up into a mountain of pressure. Since abandoning booze, none of that happens. My life feels and is more real. Again, I want to reiterate that not every experience (of course) was negative and I have had numerous positive and good memories related with booze, good friendships, new friendships and family. 

To be honest, I just stated that the majority of my experiences with booze were negative. But, actually, that is not true. The truth is, those negative times had a heavy impact. It would be such an intense argument, embarrassment, fall out or mistake; that it is very difficult to forget it. It stays with you. You then begin to question your personality, your character and everything else. But ultimately, I realised that it was the toxic alcohol's fault not mine. Without alcohol, those sorts of issues or mistakes wouldn't have occurred. So, this then led me to the path of abandoning this negative and toxic part of my life - alcohol. 

Upbringing

This part is quite personal but I am going to summarise things quite subtly and briefly here but may delve deeper into this (if you are interested) in a future post. I mean, there are so many angles to explore upbringing as I could consider it socially, historically or even economically. To put it frankly, I am a British Indian girl from a Sikh background. The religion itself condones alcohol, but due to history, society and culture (unfortunately) a lot of Sikhs do pride themselves in drinking. I mean, arguably, you could say that those Sikhs are not the practicing or baptised ones (or maybe they are) so it doesn't completely count to link Sikhism with alcoholism. To be honest, this issue is quite complex and I have a lot to say on the topic so I will definitely write a future post on that (let me know if you are interested to hear about it). Whatever the case, I was bought up surrounded by alcohol. 

I think being surrounded by it from a young age, meant that in a way I sort of got it out of my system early. I'm not 100% sure of this is true though. I do know that I started drinking when I was around 15/16 years old and I did it often up until the age of 22 (and beyond but less often). So, for a good 8 years, I drank a lot and often. I guess after a certain period of time, I got bored of it? It does drain your money and life in lots of ways. Anyway, during all this time I have been surrounded by some negative experiences with alcohol such as alcoholism, death from alcohol and depression. I quickly realised that alcohol can bring me so much fun, relaxing and good times; but it can also cause so much pain, argument and be addictive for people trying to escape reality and this life. It was hard seeing my loved ones (friends and family) struggle with things like drugs and alcohol. This is when my relationship with alcohol did start to change. 

Faith

I grew up largely influenced by Sikhism and my regular visits to the gurdwara. But, ultimately I never completely baptised myself and fully embraced Sikhism. Rather, what with my diverse circle of friendships and family, I have always been accepting of all. Reflecting back there was a period of time, that did correlate with my higher drinking intake from that age of 15-24, that I did identify as an Atheist. I would debate with people at university and genuinely felt like I did not believe in God or religion. I accepted the beauty of religion but did not fully embrace its teachings. I suppose this meant that I did not really see my drinking as morally a bad thing - or maybe I did feel that but continued. It is quite complex and hard to say.

Anyway, all I know is that I don't know of any religion that promotes alcohol. In fact, most of the main religions i.e. Christianity, Islam, Sikhism, Buddhism, Hinduism do hinder the use of alcohol. Their reasonings are all good and quite similar - it is toxic and causes harm to yourself and others. It wasn't until around about 2016 that I started to realise this (when I was 23 years old). I had come back from travelling SOLO for 7 weeks around South East Asia, and I can't exactly pinpoint how it happened but I genuinely believed in God (and still do now!). I think the beginning of this faith in God was part of my journey to quitting alcohol completely. 

Lifestyle

I suppose everything combined meant that I quit alcohol. People change and life changes. I was in a fitness focussed mindset, I was abroad in China in a beautiful country which had so much to offer not only culture wise within China but also the wealth of travel available to me around China (I made the most of this and travelled to up to 30 different countries and many more cities), I genuinely didn't need alcohol for any sort of buzz or happiness because I was on a literal natural high living in Shanghai and I had a newfound connection with God. I went through a lot in my first six months in Shanghai, and I remember trying to fit in with crowds that relied so much on booze, drugs, clubbing and to me - fakeness. I wanted truth. I wanted real. I wanted meaning. I guess my lifestyle was changing. I felt myself growing. I don't think it is about the fact that I was getting older. It was just change. And some change is healthy. Change can be good. I was focussed on exploring and discovering the world. I was focussed on learning the Chinese language. I was focussed on embracing the Chinese culture. I was also focussed on making money through tutoring and teaching English. A lot of the savings I made back then I have now put into buying a house. I guess I was less party, music and booze focussed - whilst I did still love those things, they were less of a priority in my life. As my priorities shifted, so did my heart and mood. 

Conclusion

I suppose my ultimate goal of this blog post was to normalise the concept of not drinking alcohol. I want it to be less taboo to not drink. I feel like there is so much pressure amongst people, teens, at work, the business world and every sector/environment to drink alcohol. I've heard about people who have felt so pressured to drink alcohol, just to impress a boss or feel accepted in a crowd. Isn't that so sad? Drinking alcohol or not drinking alcohol does not define you. Even a lot of social activities base their business around the concept that a drink is ordered. You can often experience a raised eyebrow when you order just a coke or juice (that is if you can in the place you are at). I'm definitely not trying to complain, ultimately I just want to contribute to a community of non-drinkers or ex-alcoholics/ex-drinkers. Be proud that you don't drink if you don't. It is not something for us to be ashamed of. Similarly, drinking alcohol is not something special. It is a choice. I have no care or judgment or anything towards drinkers. None at all. All I know is that my personal choice has been to not drink. Maybe that will change, maybe it won't. But that is my choice right now. I'm on a journey and I just wanted to share a small part of that with you in this post. 

Please do comment on this post with your thoughts, feelings, agreements, disagreements - anything! Promoting discussion on this topic would be brilliant:) Also, if you would like to share for others to read that would be awesome too. I'd like to think if I impacted even just one person in some sort of positive way - even just a slight connection. That would be such an achievement for me. But regardless of that, I love writing. It helps me to reflect, think and analyse my life journey. I love the concept that I am constantly learning and growing as an individual. I hope to keep learning, growing and embracing goodness.